Man: Lord can I ask u a question? GOD: Sure! Man: Promise u won't get mad GOD: I promise Man: Why did u let so much stuff happen to me today? GOD: What do u mean? Man: Well, I woke up late, GOD: Yes Man: My car took forever to start, GOD: Okay Man: at lunch they made my sandwich wrong & I had to wait, GOD: Huummmm... Man: On the way home, my phone went DEAD, just as I picked up a call..... GOD: All right Man: And on top of it all, when I got home I just wanted to soak my feet in my new foot massager & relax. BUT it wouldn't work!!! Nothing went right today! Why did you do that? GOD: Let me see..., the death Angel was at your bed this morning & I had to send one of the other angels to battle him for your life. I let you sleep through that GOD: I didn't let your car start because there was a drunk driver on your route that would have hit you if you were on the road. GOD: The first person who made your sandwich today was sick & I didn't want you to catch what they have, I knew you couldn't afford to miss work. GOD: Your phone went dead because the person that was calling was going to give false witness about what you said on that call, I didn't even let you talk to them so you would be covered. GOD: Oh and that foot massager, it had a shortage that was going to throw out all of the power in your house tonight. I didn't think you wanted to be in the dark. GOD: learn to trust me in all things, the good & the bad. And don't doubt that my plan for your day is always better than your plan. Man: I won't Lord. And let me just tell you Lord, thank you for everything today. GOD: You're welcome child. It was just another day being your Lord and I love looking after my children... Moral: be thnkful 2 God in evry situation... Have u thanked him 4 2day?
A
carpenter was travelling to the next village with a coffin one night.
His car broke down so he decided to carry the coffin and walk. A police
man wanted to take bribe from him. Police: why are you carring that @
this time? Carpenter: Sir, I don't like where I was burried so am
relocating
One yoruba man always goes to eat Rice and stew in a certain restaurant in Warri. One day, when he went to eat at d restaurant they told him; Stew never done! The man said; No problem, just bring ordinary rice for me. He ate d ordinary rice. immediately he finished eating they informed him; Oga d stew don done. the man replied; Oya, Bring the stew wey una suppose put for my rice! They gave him d stew. the man drank d stew, b4 i knew what was happening, he started tumbling and scattering d whole place, he used his body to hit d ground several times. I managed to hold him down and asked him what was wrong. The man said (breathing heavily); I dey mix the rice and stew wey dey inside my belle!
U buy eggroll N150, I buy buns N15, boil one egg N30, all na N45... #MoneyCannotWaste. U buy 5 alive N300, I buy orange +mango+pineapple N80 naira..my own get natural nutrient.. #MoneyCannotWaste. Nepa cut ur light, U pay N2000 sharp sharp, I wait, call electrician for nite for N200 fix my wire back.. #MoneyCannotWaste. U buy milo, milk and sugar, I buy cowbell chocolate which already contains every... #MoneyCannotWaste U pay 5k go watch MI for show, I buy him cd N100, stay room play and sing along # MoneyCannotWaste
U dey chop pop corn of N1000 for cinema and I dey chop guguru & epa
of N20 for house dey watch tv..shey our mouth dey move, movie dey show
go! #MoneyCannotWaste U buy red bull N300 to become active, I buy paraga N20, Am super active... mtcheww #MoneyCannotWaste U buy rosé (red wine), I buy zobo and add squaddy, all ną red wine... #MoneyCannotWaste U fix 100k brazillian hair, I buy N100 xpression attachment, I fine pass you...n guys don't know d difference #MoneyCannotWaste U go club for VI, buy hennesey of 40k, Me go one joint, buy alomo N200..all na highness #MoneyCannotWaste U pay N50 to watch match in a viewing centre, I stand outside to watch d match all na d same.. #MoneyCannotWaste... You buy bb torch 95k, I buy storm 15k, shey all of us dey ping? Mtchewww.. Abeg Abeg!!!! I no fit shout!!!!=)) All na de same
• Where our mothers use ice cream bowls to store pepper in the fridge • Where ladies don't accept flowers for valentine or birthday. ... • Where lizard go look ur eyeball, nod head say "notin dey happen guy" • Where a blind beggar will reject a fake naira note. • Where Groundnuts are sold in BOTTLES and WATER is sold in SATCHETS. • Where parents claim they were always first position in school. • Where You Can Be A Driver For Years Without A 'DRIVER's LICENCE' • Where government officials don't know the national anthem. •Where Gala and Lacasera are the best options when stuck in traffic. • Where you are jailed for stealing Maggi and given a chieftancy title for stealing billions. • Where we fight for everything. To gain admission into a university, to get a job and worse, to enter a bus! • Where you are robbed of your phone and the robbers come back for your Pin code and charger. • Where your type of GENERATOR shows how RICH you are. • Where you can easily blame your family members in the village for your problems. • Where rich men must have pot belly. • WHERE IF YOU DO ANYHOW, YO U GO SEE ANYHOW. • Where generator is a social amenity. • Where people dey collect change for beggar hand. • Where Igbo men produce Toyota camry jeans and Dr'dre slippers • Where the man who had no shoes is the president. •Where BB torch is sold in traffic for N12k!!!! .Where gals carry bb touch bt yet dey r squatn in pipu's house. .Where u must b a good liar b4 u bcum a politician. .Where we sack doctors bt beg terrorists 2 cum 4 negotiations.
.Where u buy a celin Dion video cd only to play it at home n wat u see
on ur tv screen is Oliver de coque playing.....abeg add d 1s wey I
4gt........
A
man faintd @d front of mr.biggs n in no time pple were gathered round
him & a lady suggestd mke una give am water,d man opened his eyes n
said,comot frm here if i wnt water i 4 go faint 4 water board.
A plane with 5 passengers was about to crash in midair and therewere only 4 parachutes. 1st passenger, Lionel Messi: I'm d world's best footballer, my fans still need me. He takes one and jumps 2nd passenger, Aliko Dangote: I'mAfrica'srichest man. I don't want to die now He takes another one and jumps. 3rd passenger, Goodluck Jonathan: I'm the President of Nigeria, the most powerful and intelligent President in Africa. I have Boko and Subsidy issues to deal with He takes one and jumps. 4th passenger was d Pope, Pope said to d 5th passenger, an 8 yr old girl "I'm anold man, I'll sacrifice my life for Urs " but d girlreplied "no need for dat there are 2 parachutes left. "how can that be?" asked Pope. The girl replied "The Nigerian President took my school bag
A grandma and her grandson were shopping in a supermarket. The grandma realise that the kid has picked a toy, she calls out; "Degree, put that toy back". The kid returned the toy back. Astonishly, another customer asks; is that his name? The grandma replies; yes, I sent his mother to the UNIVERSITY to study but this is what she brought back.
